One Week Till Turkey Day.....

There's only one week left until Thanksgiving. I swear, the older I get, the faster time goes. I'm looking forward to this year's holidays, though, since my 3-year-old is at a good age for them. Halloween was a BLAST with him. I had planned on going to the gym on Thanksgiving (yes, it's open for a few hours), but then remembered the parade is on in the morning. Normally, nothing would make going to the gym take a backseat, however, it's not like the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade is on every day. It's on once a year. And no, we don't have that DVR (or whatever you call it) thing. I either watch something when it's on or I pray for a repeat airing, which I guarantee won't happen with this parade.

My husband will be working, so I am happy to stay home and cuddle up with my toddler and watch this parade that I assume will be fascinating to him. A huge Snoopy? Dora? Cat in the Hat? Mickey? Ronald McDonald? All leading up to the unveiling of SANTA?! Oh, for the love of God, this kid is going to be in his glory. I have goosebumps just thinking about it.

So anyway, only one more week to go. I have a lot to be thankful for. I'm not rich money-wise, but I'm rich life-wise. I have two beautiful kids who I adore (most days). I am thankful for their smiles, their giggles, their cries, their yells. They are healthy. They can hear. They can see. They can feel. They can smell. They can taste. Heck, my son thinks I make delicious hot dogs. I am blessed.

It's All About the Music

At the gym I go to, there's a track that goes along the outside edge of the weights and cardio machines for those of us that prefer to walk and get somewhere versus feeling like a hamster in a wheel....going and going and never really...well....GOING. Anyway, it takes 16 laps to make one mile on said track.

Many days, people walk out onto the track (most of the time without looking, which makes me want to backhand them), and they mosey. It drives me nuts. Why are you on the track to MOSEY? Go outside and stroll around. Go stroll around the building. Get out of my way. These aren't people that truly can't walk any faster, as we have those there too and I give them oodles of credit for putting in the effort. The mosey'ers just plain have nothing better to do and I often feel their sole purpose in going to the gym is to annoy me. But, I digress.....

As I pass the people that truly can't walk as fast as I do (I'll guess at around 3.8 - 4 mph), most times I notice that they aren't listening to any music. That's when it hit me. I can chalk my "speed" up to the music. It's invigorating. I like to walk to the beat of the music. Fast song, fast walking. Slower song, still a good pace, but slower than a fast song. (If that makes sense.)

It's taken me a bit to build up my music list on my mp3, and even now it's still not HUGE, but I thought I'd share some of my faves in case someone else is looking for good beats......

Waka Waka - Shakira
Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas
California Girls - Katy Perry
DJ Got Us Falling In Love Again - Usher
Dynamite - Taio Cruz
I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas
Imma Bee - Black Eyed Peas
Only Girl - Rihanna
Raise Your Glass - Pink
Smooth Criminal - Michael Jackson
Stronger - Kanye West
Teenage Dream - Katy Perry
Telephone - Lady Gaga

I'm always looking for more to add too, so if you have any to share, PLEASE do!!!!

10% Off!!!

As of today, I am down 22.5 pounds, which is 10% of my starting weight. I am elated! Granted, my halfway point was a week ago, which was 25 pounds, but I'm okay that I didn't reach that. As I've stated in previous posts, I've had some setbacks....some falling off the proverbial wagon per se. I'm back. One more week and I should have a one at the beginning of my weight again. I haven't seen that in three years.

WOOT!

The Root of All Evil

While watching a weight loss program on TV, the fitness person was questioning one of her clients as to why he chose to eat some cookies. How did it make him feel? He then breaks down crying and then a whole bunch of information is shared that seems like a breakthrough as to why he eats the way he does. All because of a few cookies.

It made me think. Why do I eat the way I do? I was never abused. I wasn't scarred for life by anything said to me in school. My parents have been happily married for almost 50 years and have always been good parents, so no issues there. Eating doesn't make me feel loved. I don't look at eating as something that won't reject me. Then I came to the realization...........

I eat because I genuinely like the taste of it!

Fitness gurus are so quick to want to associate a problem with overweight people. I really can't find one in myself, and maybe I'm just blind to it. BUT, I know I can be "good" eating-wise and even enjoy it. I also know that if I take a bite of my favorite dish, chances are it's not going to stop there. Why? IT TASTES GOOD. Period.

Zumba-licious

Have you heard of Zumba? Have you tried it? For anyone that doesn't know what it is, it's what I would call dance aerobics with a Latin flair. (Check it out on YouTube if you need further description.)

Anyway, two weeks ago I started taking Zumba. I had been watching from afar these women dancing their butts off and it looked like so much fun, I signed up. During my first class, I caught myself thinking on numerous occasions whether or not I could get my money back for this class, and debating if I couldn't, if it was worth losing that money. It was much more complicated than it looked. Step this way, jump that way, wiggle this, shake that.....I found my feet getting twisted together and I feared for my life. After class, I was talking to the instructor and she reassured me that after three classes, I would feel better about it. I took her advice and hung in there.

The second class was fairly close to the first, but I did sort of "get" some of the wiggles and shakes. I have learned, though, that this body ain't what it used to be. I could have tore up some Zumba at 25 years old. I'm now 37 and have gone through a broken ankle (which, if you've ever had a broken bone, you know it never gets 100% better), and I just can't move like I used to. I actually feel stiff when I'm doing this class. I'm hoping that will change.

Now I have gone four or five times, and I have to say, the instructor was right. I actually like it. (Did I just say that out loud?!) Yes, it's still a bit tricky, but I'm getting used to it, and the best part is I work up a better sweat than I do walking for the same amount of time. Surely, that must mean I'm burning more calories, right?!

I do, however, feel like an amazon in that class. Seems that everyone in there is skinny and/or short. Everyone but me, that is. Maybe one day.

Divorce.

On July 28, 2010, I realized that what I needed was a divorce. I was tired of the abuse. Tired of the love/hate relationship. I was tired of thinking things would get better on their own. Yes, it was time. I officially divorced food. Yes, food.

I'm not saying that from that point on, never would a piece of this or an ounce of that pass into my mouth, I'm just saying it was time to take control of what was going in my mouth. Enough of the crap food. It was time to get back the body I had pre-kids.

I started my journey by joining a popular points-based dieting website and using the gym membership I had already been paying for months. My mission? 50 pounds......outta here! I was strict with my eating and walked 4 miles 5 days a week. Within 3 months, I had lost close to 20 pounds. Not the "quick results" I had longed for, but in reality, I know that it takes time to truly melt that fat off and keep it off. I'm not looking for a quick fix. I want to be around for my kids for a long time. Heck, I'd love to see them get married (you know, when they're 50 or so) and have their own babies.

So as of today, this is where I am. I have lost 18.5 pounds and over 10 inches. Inches are really something I strongly encourage you to take every 4 weeks. I'm amazed at how much my body changes.

Now, I have started this blog. Why now? Well, because I need to be accountable. I, admittedly, have fallen off the proverbial wagon and am being dragged by one leg on a very bumpy road. It all started when I had some killer, knife-stabbing headaches about a month ago. I truly thought it was a brain aneursym. But, that was the point that I started slowly falling off the wagon. So, here I am, trying to pull myself back up on it.

I have come to the realization that, sadly, one of the things that sabotages me is self-confidence. I do my best workouts and healthiest eating when I feel like a big pile of unattractive blubber. (Well, is there really attractive blubber? Some people no doubt think so, but not me, especially on my body.) I realized this last week at the gym as I was spending all sorts of time with myself, just walking laps. That's what's wrong with me! Damn self confidence! I start to feel confident and that I'm looking a bit better, and BOOM! I can cheat today. Which turns into tomorrow. And the next day. You get my drift. I guess feeling bad about myself is a form of discipline instead of self-pity. Who knew.

I'm sure this journey will be filled with many more revelations. Here's to hoping to unravel them one by one so that I can get my body back and my head on straight.